What I was never sure of with you

Mel is sicky. I thought my years of eating dirt had paid off when I wasn't struck down during my entire France trip. Emotional dirt doesn't do the same shit.

Hung out with Jessie today for the first time in aaages. She is her usual amazing self, except that she is within the love snatches of a guy who doesn't treat her right. Cue broken record.

500 days of summer was amazing, and kind of necessarily painful, like a visit to the dentist. I recommend it to everyone.

Sally thinks Dan from my work is hot, I'm not sure I agree, did anyone catch a glimpse of him on Thursday?

In other news, I'm a hot bitch in a Jack Daniels outfit, and the guys weren't so bad neither!

Where are your scales?

What you are about to hear Elk described as ‘the most horrible thing I’ve ever heard’ so prepare yourselves

Why the fuck am I not over Dean? I feel very over not being over him. I think part of me can just not BELIEVE that he doesn’t want me. Haha, yeah, I really just can’t get my head around the idea. At least that shows I have some amount of self-esteem left. I mean, obviously what is occurring is cognitive dissonance. I have this internal image of myself (hot bitch) countered with this real life information (Dean doesn’t want me). Dear god what to do? Either conclude I am not a hot bitch (impossible) feel instead that Dean must be lying/deluded/on drugs. Yup, much more likely.

So, to the horrific event. I drunk dial Dean at 4am, ask him to come over under the guise of I can sexually attack him and blame on the a-a-a-a-l-co-hol et voila, we are back together. However Dean doesn’t like this plan, and after the 4^th time he says “I’m not coming over, its 4am” he suggests that he can visit after work. Ok then. Still on the phone ‘why don’t you ever call?’ ‘I invited you to the movies on facebook’ ‘that was weeks ago with a bunch of people’ ‘no, I did it a few hours ago”

Ho hum, what does naïve Mel think of all this? Does she hear make up sex bells?
Alas retarded Dean arrives a good 45 minutes late. To cut a long story short, I asked if he had anything to say, he says ‘well, I think we should be friends. I feel very lonely at the moment, must of the people in my life I think are douches to me at times, cases in point being Jane, Andrew, Adam, Jeff etc, and I pretty much have a negative view of everyone in my life. Except you, my feelings towards you are neutral.’

Endo Story.

Petite Anglaise

A couple of examples of how I AM petite anglaise:

pg 12: lugging my luggage around the metro Place de Clichy

pg 13: going to the American Church on Quai d'Orsay (also where the museum us) to look for a job

pg 13: my Australian friend Seff lived in a chambre de bonne, a tiny room on the top floor with kitchen/shower/bedroom all in the same room and toilet down the hall, i got veeeery high and missed the metro once and had to sleep over (see picture)

pg 15: her place on Rue de la Roquette is next to the cemetery Pere Lachaise, where I had my first date with Edi

pg 21: the cute french guys you meet who have cute American english because they spent two weeks in Boston (Gregoire) or studied abroad in Florida (Edi/Felix)

pg 22: getting invited to the REX club (by Julien, his friend knew the

manager and we got in for free)

pg 68: going to an organised meeting in a pub to meet fellow bloggers (for me it was to meet fellow collocataires (roommates), so cool having a sticker if you were looking or offering

pg 84: their date to see a band at teh Nouveau Casino: this is where I saw The Subways with my friend Diana, but reminds me more of me and Gregoire's first date to see Of Montreal at the Bataclan (same street, see picture)

And that is just so far...

The bitch is very very smart

This title was a quote from my mother. I was shocked at her swearing until I realised she was talking about female dogs.

homeo-omey-workey. I didn't think it was so bad until Sally asked me what I had going "2500 word essay, 40% exam" wow, and what about after the break? "8 minute oral in french, 2500 word psych report" yikes. yikes indeed!

I'm sure I'll just pull some sort of superhuman effort out of my arse. Things to look forward to: out on thursday! hopefully the town is going off, either way I've been sober for too many weeks. AFL GF bbq at chez Jacki, I however will have to remain completely neutral as I have too many loyalties to abide by. Mum is still mourning the loss of collingwood. Sam as well who numbed his pain with a good few drinks

COAST TRIP I am going if I have to walk there myself! Dammmmn, its been too long since I was enjoying myself by the sea in good company. Camping, jacuzzi (is that right jacki? did I make that up?) drinking, laying about. Aaahhh.

Man its odd to bump into primary school buddies in a night club when you're wearing flesh coloured clothing...

BRING ON THE SUMMER

Who wants chemo anyway?

SPRING IS IN THE AIR! It makes everyone so happy! Myself included.

My job is awesome. Got paid to chat with this new zealand guy, give out wine, and watch short films. God I love my job. And tomorrow I will be strutting around in the sun at floriade and getting paid for it. Doesn't get better than this!

Haha, but Thursdays shift was pretty funny, wearing ridiculous adam and eve costumes, wandering around giving out cider, the girl I worked with was cool though. We just had to chat up the drunken boys. ahhh.

Damn I dont want to start this essay... boooo. One more day of procastination can't possibly hurt following all the already wasted days?

I want to pretty myself up for Cali! And it's just the weather to be in the mood....

Don't bring me down, just pick me up

Everyone is so damn strong. It's amazing, and inspiring. I can't believe that my besties both had their hearts broken by Marsians within a month. Ca fait long temps depuis we were all single. I feel like such a loser though, look at these up and at-em women, getting back up and dusting themselves off. Surely I should be a little hardier considering a year has passed...

Well, as ever the moral of the story is to be happy doing what you're doing. I spent the evening drinking green tea, exercising and reading my psychology textbook, surprisingly fulfilling. And I've stopped stuffing my face with junk which I will love myself in the morning for.

I sat on the bus today, after French class, day dreaming that I would bump into some frenchies in Canberra and be able to utilise my sick french skills on them. I muttered an entire conversation to myself while sitting on the bus, then I realised this kid from Radford was looking at me. Was probably jealous of my awesome skills. Then I daydreamed about Edi getting his black ass down here and me showing him the sights.

Well, at least single is the new black, I knew my sense of fashion would come full circle.

You don't need to worry about that until you start wanting to eat dirt

I loooooove slobbing around. And eating. It just makes me so happy. I give myself such an intense mental beating about boys and school and future and work, all in some obtuse attempt to be happy one day, but all I want is a fried egg on toast.

Had a pretty sick shift at work, was very unmotivated to go as I was still a little out of it and hung over and had to pop a no-doze before I went. But once I got there it was all good, there was even a cute guy working in liquor. Cute until he opened his mouth and told me he wore trench coats and had been rejected from the defence force five times because he failed the psych test. He asked me if I, being a psych student, could tell him why. I laughed nervously. He asked when I would ever be coming back, again with the nervous laughter.

Spent the day lounging, slowly making my powerpoint for my seminar on advertising. Got more work later, better try and motivate myself. I wonder what I will do tonight, I think I will see someone but I'll have to see whos free.

In a bit of limbo on the UCLA front, am I in or what?? I'm totally going to get a tatoo when I go. And a fake ID hopefully...